Hallo, whats up in Poland?
G: There is a big crowd and tumult in Poland. You could heard everywhere a sound of bureaucratic machines preparing to enlargement of European Union. As far as you know EU would help to each metal maniac to find a bar of chocolate, a candidate for wife and a keg of cold Czech beer. From the north are coming cruel screams of drunken Vikings, whose came to our country to buy new drakkars.
B: Does Deep Purple come from Czech Republic?
Can you briefly describe the history of your band?
G: We are descendants of mythological Mineta Uhr, which had enjoyed to lick an interior of Mother Earth. Cremaster was born in 2001 as a result of that condemned by Church marriage. The eldest one of us is Szaman ? a vocalist and a successor to the throne. The youngest one is Bezza. He has a strong organism and plays a bass guitar. Me (guit.) and Badhed (drums) are twins. When we became adult, our Father ordered us to procreate. We could not deny him. On September 2001 we had copulated with a grim writer H.P. Lovecraft. The result of that event was our first material called ?DEMOn?. We decided to show our first baby. The people was enthusiastic and enjoyed ?DEMOn?, so we decided to create a sister of our first baby. The new material was entitled with our Father`s name - ?Mineta Uhr?.
B: I think that Deep Purple desn`t come from Czech Republic.
What label released your CD Mineta Uhr and how did you get in touch?
G: Polish labels are worried to release Cremaster`s records, because our music is a pure evil and hatred mixed with a horse radish, salami and old condom. We are intend to wait a lot, and then procreate with Batman a big cannon, which force record labels into a bigger openness to unconventional singers (truly, we are singers, not a metal bands).
B: There was a chance to release our music by Japanese Eclipse Records. A guy from Eclipse offered us a release of a CD consisted of our both materials ? ?DEMOn? and ?Mineta Uhr?, but he probably changed his decision. This asshole does not answer for our e-mails since an autumn. Now I understand the reason of Enola Gay`s mission in 1945. Probably there had been some problems with issue Frank Sinatra`s song in Far East.
Where are you taking the inspiration for your original music and favorite bands?
G: We are inspired my many different things. The most important ones are: lard, potato cakes, films about dangerous animals, drunkenness, legendary dragon from Krakow, The Dictionary of Icelandic and heavy tools with light handles. Our favorite bands? I like Rush, Motorhead, Voivod, Iron Maiden, Guns`n`Roses, Gwar, Kyuss, Queens of the Stone Age, Carcass, Primus, Blue Oyster Cult and really good Contrastic from your country. A like also bands consist of my friends, one Outcast`s song, all Beyonce Knowless` videos and German rural songs from Bavaria.
B: I am totally inspired by beer, pizza and naked women. I also like bands listed by Grzes, but I have to add some old bands like Deep Purple (where are they came from?) and Raibow, newer bands like Acid Drinkers, Death, Cannibal Corpse and shitty bands like Busta Rhymes.
Where did you fing the cool picture of the Mineta Uhr cover artwork?
G: On the net. We dont`t have any rights to that picture, and probably we will bear the responsibility for that.
B. Exactly. Probably we will be sentenced to death.
Any new material in progress?
G: New genetic material comes in to existence in our kernels. It will float away on a time, when all birds are singing and want to fuck with another ones. We also have found our new victim . But I can not say who is it. I can only reveal that he is a well known politic, a leader of a big country and he dislikes swarthy people with machetes.
B: Our new full ? length time material has been composed. Now, we intend to enter a studio and make a record with 0-1 code during the spring.
There are some rumors that to have a band in Poland is very difficult because the lan dis deep in religious life. Is it true?
G: No, that is not true.
B: There were some incidents. In my opinion, nothing worth to say. It didn`t have any influences to existence of Polish bands.
Do you know any typical polish joke?
G. I know only untypical polish jokes!
B. You are welcome!
Przychodzi baba do lekarza, a tam zamknięte.
- Czy jest pan doktor?
- Nie ma ? odpowiada uprzejma rejestratorka. ? Pojechał do Urzędu Gminnego na wybory.
- A to szkoda- mówi zmartwiona pacjentka ? bo właśnie przywiozłam wyniki.
and other one:
Przychodzi baba do lekarza z bańką benzyny pod pachą i pudełkiem zapałek.
- Cóż się znowu stało, pani Kowalska? ? pyta lekarz ? Dawno pani u nas nie było.
- No właśnie! ? uśmiecha się pacjentka przypalając zapałkę i odkręcając zawór bańki. ? pomyślałam, że trzeba pana doktora odrobinę rozerwać.
When did you started to play and how was the beginnig? Do you like to remember?
G: I started to play in secondary school. I was romantic, had big glasses on my nose and I was afraid of girls? like a most part of metalheads. Nowadays, I don`t have glasses, but contact lenses, I don`t afraid of girls and am not romantic any more. Maybe I`am still a little romantic when I see a bottom of an empty bottle. But I still play guitar, because of an order of my Father ? Mineta Uhr.
B: I really don`t remember. Maybe I was a member of Deep Purple? Do you know, where are they come from? I intend to start playing tomorrow. I feel a huge fear, because I really don`t know how I manage the expectations of my faithful nymphomaniac girls.
What are your favorite musicians?
G: I like Dave Murray and Geddy Lee, They are ugly but they are not ashamed of that. Oderus Urungus from Gwar, because of his tip-top dress and pseudonym, and also Les Claypoole by reason of his huge nose and lyrics.
B: Ian Paise from Deep Purple, but I don`t know where are they from.
Any words for the end? What can you recommended?
G: Don`t drink a water from Vltava, because you will dry the river. Drink the water from Loch Ness Lake together with us! Let`s check the truth that Scotsmen have a monster Nessie. Watch ?Krtek? on TV. I love that cartoon!
B: Please, visit our website: www.cremaster.prv.pl . It exists only in Polish, but I hope that you understand a lot. We are preparing an English version. All zines, magazines, and bands interested to get a copy or exchange music or links, please contact us!
